Gomenasai Inoue
by LIBBYcolours
Summary: Ichigo didn't mean to hurt her. UlquiHime, IchiRuki and One-sided IchiHime.


Disclaimer: I do not own BLEACH

Disclaimer: I do not own BLEACH. That honour belongs to Kubo-san.

**--**

**Gomenasai Inoue**

**--**

Orihime sighed and rubbed vigorously at her red and swollen eyes. She sighed and hoisted herself off the bed where she had previously been laying. Sitting up, the weeping girl began to rub vigorously at her red and swollen eyes. That, however, only served to make her eyes hurt more than they already did. They stung and seemed to throb in time with her heartbeat. How long had she been crying? An hour? Maybe two? How pathetic. But then – she had only loved Kurosaki-kun for what… oh right! Almost all her life. Since… since her brother, Sora, had passed away. _'Long enough to be totally crushed by his absolute rejection of my feelings.'_ She immediately cursed herself for even daring to think that. Kurosaki-kun was a wonderful person. He was not rude or unfair about it – no. He was truly sorry that he could not return her feelings_. 'That,'_ she thought_, 'hurt more.'_ Far more then if he had been a jerk about everything.

_**Gomenasai Inoue.**_

"Kurosaki-kun…" she whispered, fighting back the next wave of tears. Honestly, she had to pull herself together. It _was_ a school day and she _would_ get detention if she was late. Maybe she could just skip school today? That sounded good. If she skipped, it would give her another day to collect herself before she faced Kurosaki-kun and… and… and Kuchiki-san. And yes, she _would_ face Kuchiki-san, and yes, she _would_ smile, pretend it was all ok and yes, they _would _continue to be friends – Ichigo Kurosaki, Rukia Kuchiki, Sado "Chad" Yastora, Uryu Ishida, Tatsuki Arawisa, Ulquiorra Schiffer and herself – Orihime Inoue. (And sometimes Renji Abarai, Ikkaku Madarame, Yumichika Ayasegawa, Rangiku Mastumoto and Toshiro Hitsugaya dropped in. That was always nice.)

They were a tight group – had been a tight group for some time now. Ever since the start of the Aizen war… or no? It really began when they set of to rescue Kuchiki-san from the Soul Society. And Orihime never, ever, resented that they had saved Rukia_. Never__**.**_ The day she agreed to go with Ichigo was kind of like the first day of her life. Since then her life had only gotten better and the well-hidden but almost unbearable pain had eased. New friends, new choices, happiness and a sense of belonging that Orihime hadn't felt since she started middle school filled her heart and her world. No one teased her for her hair colour anymore. Not with Kurosaki-kun and Abarai-kun with her, both of which sported oddly coloured hair. On the odd occasion that someone decided to mug her (and that happened from time to time), Ulquiorra would show up out of nowhere and deal with that threat. He still seemed to see himself as her protector, even with the Aizen war long over. She was doing very well in school (with some help form Ishida-kun when things got really tough) and Kuchiki-san was teaching her how to make better use of her powers.

Yet – she was always searching for more. Orihime new she _shouldn't_ want more than that. She was lucky to have the friends she did. Lucky to have the life she had. But – she still yearned for – no, _needed ­_– Kurosaki-kun's love, his approval. She could live without the other things if he could just love her. Or that's what she thought.

But she knew he _would _never – _could never _love her. She accepted that. Or she thought that she'd accepted it. That was before… before he asked Kuchiki-san… before he asked her to stay… with him. Thinking about it, she was not so different from Kurosaki-kun. They were both chasing something – someone – they could not have. _'The difference is that Kurosaki-kun knows Kuchiki-san loves him. There is a future for them. Together.'_

It's true. One day Ichigo Kurosaki will die and then he will be free to be with Rukia Kuchiki. Until then they can see each other when Kuchiki-san comes to keep watch over Katakura town. Or alternatively, Kuchiki-san can choose to stay in the world of the living, just as Ichigo's father chose. Orihime also knows that it is possible for Kurosaki-kun to choose to live in the Soul Society. It is possible for him to become a permanent Shinigami. She doesn't know if she can go on knowing that he chooses that life. A life so obviously _without_ and _free of_ herself. It would feel like being told that he could never lover her all over again – but ten times worse. Because this time it would be absolute.

_**Gomenasai, Gomenasai. I never meant to hurt you Inoue.**_

She would be cast aside. Dropped as if she had never really meant anything to him. And it was all _her_ fault. All the _fault_ of Kuchiki Rukia. She had not been _meant _to save Kurosaki-kun. She was never been _meant_ to give him her powers. Orihime stopped herself. If she kept on, she'd start blaming Kuchiki-san for the war, and just basically for everything. The war was _not_ Kuchiki-san's fault, anymore than her love for Kurosaki-kun was, really, her _fault_. Things had just _happened_ that way. And some things that came from Kuchiki-san were good… very good. She was one of her best friends after all. She had also saved Kurosaki-kun's life and the lives of his family – without Rukia, they would be dead.

_**Please, Inoue, don't hate Rukia. This is all my fault, Gomenasai.**_

Orihime vowed that she would never hate Rukia Kuchiki. In the end, the person who would suffer most from hating Kuchiki-san would be herself.

Clipping her hair back with the pins her brother had given her, Orihime stared at her reflection. She wasn't an ugly person, in either body or soul. But it wasn't as if she was a striking beauty like Matsumoto-san or Yoruichi-san. For the first time in her life, she felt some desire to look better. To be more beautiful. As soon as she felt the desire she pushed it away. _'I am fine as I am. I do not need more.'_ Dressed and ready – her heart bolted shut and her tears locked safely behind her grey eyes – Orihime exited her apartment and headed for Katakura High School.

Sitting in class, Orihime caught Kuchiki-san glance at her. Her eyes seemed to plead with Orihime. _I'm so sorry Inoue-san. Will you ever forgive me? _Orihime smiled. She tried her best to make Kuchiki-san understand. _I do not blame you_. Orihime felt her heart clench as Kuchiki-san's eyes crinkled and began to water. _Gomenasai Inoue-san. I didn't want it to turn out this way._ She hadn't understood. Rukia believed that she hated her. How had she reached that conclusion? Orihime had smiled. _Smiled!_ How could Kuchiki-san have taken her smile the wrong way?

She watched in astonishment as Kuchiki-san excused herself. Rukia covered her face the whole way out of the room but everyone could see the tears falling from her big violet eyes. Orihime expected to get glares from Kurosaki-kun. Kuchiki-san is his girlfriend but also his other half and his best friend. Instead, she got sympathising looks from Kurosaki-kun and a calculating look from Ulquiorra. Abarai-kun refused too look at her. Not, Orihime thought, because she is responsible for Kuchiki-san's discomfort but because he knows how she feels – because he has sparked the same guilt in Ichigo. Renji has loved Rukia for most of his life but in the end, she told him the same thing – using the exact same words – as Kurosaki-kun told her.

_**We have to break so much to be together. Gomenasai. I'm so selfish.**_

No – she is the one who's selfish. She is selfish for wanting to take that love, that light – that _life_ – away from Kurosaki-kun. She truly was the worst of the worst, no matter what Matsumoto-san told her. Orihime could feel her eyes begin to tear up and quickly swallowed and held them back. She had to be strong and tell Kuchiki-san that she didn't hate her – that she didn't blame her. Oh no – she had to stop thinking about such things… or she was going to start crying. She cast around for something else to think about. _'Uhh… sponges! Yeah…'_

All she had to do was make it to lunch. If she could just make it to lunch, she'd be free. She'd go home and get control of her emotions. She _would not drag_ Kurosaki-kun or Kuchiki-san down into her pit of despair. She had to let them know that she was fine with them... being... _together_.

--

Sitting on the roof, her legs pulled up to her chest, her back hunched over was how Ulquiorra found his best friend. Orihime's long orange hair was completely covering her face but he could tell she had been crying. She was just about radiating grief.

"What's wrong woman?"

Most upset people would take offence to being called 'women'. They would see it as a lack of respect – but Orihime knew it was his way of showing her that he was worried. These days he called her by her name and only referred to her as 'women' when he was angry or worried. She has never seen him upset but she assumed he would call her 'women' in that situation too.

He waited patiently for her answer but he could only wait so long. Ulquiorra is not a very patient person with Orihime.

"Out with it now, women."

"I- it's nothing U- Ulquiorra. Jus- just give me a minute t- to pull myself together."

He decided this was going to take a while and sat down beside her. She would tell him… oh yes she would. He was _not_ leaving without a full explanation about why Rukia, Ichigo, Renji and herself were acting so oddly of late. Not that he cared about that trash or anything. Ulquiorra could see how depressed Orihime was getting and he had the sense to know that it wouldn't go away on its own. Despite himself, he did care for Orihime. He cared for her _a lot_. More than the average human being would think.

_**There is someone out there for you Inoue and it's not me. Gomenasai. Maybe you just need to wake up and see him.**_

It occurred to Orihime as Ulquiorra seated himself beside her that he was the only person she called by their first name alone. Did that make him the closest person to her? Had it been Ulquiorra that Kurosaki-kun had been referring to? Surely not. He liked her more than most people, no one could deny that – but he didn't think of her like that. She almost wanted to laugh aloud at the thought. No. Kurosaki-kun had not meant someone in particular... he had just meant that there was _someone _out there for her.

"Orihime..."

Should she tell him?

_Could_ she tell him?

Yes, she decided. She could.

"So- Sorry Ulquiorra. It's just that Kurosaki-kun finally told me."

He let out a sigh. Trust her to be as vague as possible. "Told you what Orihime?"

"That enough is enough. He'll never love me. H- he's right. I've been wasting my time."

"Yes, you have." Ulquiorra agreed. Orihime began to cry. _Hard_. Ulquiorra was unprepared for the amount of tears. Who knew one person could leek this much water? Humans really are very silly creatures. They spent so much time worrying over things that ultimately did not matter. Besides, onto more pressing matters, what in Aizen's name was he meant to do about it?

Slowly, unsure of what he was really doing, Ulquiorra reached out and hooked his arm around Orihime's waist.

He shifted closer.

She stopped crying.

"Better?"

Orihime leaned into him and let out a contented sigh. Sure, Ichigo loved Kuchiki-san and not herself but at least she didn't have to bear the pain alone. She was never alone.

And when her hear healed, he would still be there. Because there was a future for them.

"Thankyou Ulquiorra."

_End._

A/N: I love UlquiHime! They look so cute! That and I really don't like IchiHime. So I shot two birds with one stone here. I wrote this while on holiday. I was bored so I asked to use Daddy's laptop and then my ideas just started flowing.


End file.
